Thursday, June 5, 2008

Once upon a time...

Good day boys and girls. I’ve never tried writing with a children’s audience before, but it appears that I might have one. If this is the case, I have a story for you. (Parents and teachers, please screen everything that follows before sharing with your kids. )



I have a magical tale that starts off in a far distant land called Auzz. This tale tells of one foolish little boys desire to explore this distant land without doing any research before beginning his journey.
This foolish little boy is called Ryan. Now, Ryan was previously living in the fairy tale land full of friendly nice people and beautiful rolling hills of green pastures. This is the Hobbit land of Zealandia. One day Ryan decided to leave Zealandia for the far away enchanted urban jungle known as Sydney. Now this enchanted jungle is home to the most brave of knights and the most fierce of dragons. Within this land also holds a magic flower that can take people to far away distant lands of lollie pops and fluffy clouds.

After the long voyage across the great ocean to the land of Sydney, Ryan booked himself in a special little cottage on a beach just outside the enchanted urban jungle of Sydney. Little Ryan was unaware of all the magical forces happening within this special cottage. For what Ryan didn’t know was this cottage housed both knights and dragons under one roof. There were battles to be fought every night.
Tired and exhausted, Ryan went into his room to meet his first of 2 very special roommates. This roommate was called Gohan. Gohan is from the land of Zealandia who came to the enchanted jungle many years ago and has been living in this special cottage for almost one whole year. You see, Gohan is a very powerful sorcerer who has been helping the knights fight the evil dragon for many months. Among the many of Gohan’s powers, his most powerful is the treasure locked away in a box under his bed. Within this box lays a special flower. Actually there are about 4 pounds of this special flower in Gohans magical box. It’s a green flower with purple hairs interwoven into its fragrant buds. This flower is sought after by all the brave knights in the land. This keeps Gohan very busy. Part of Gohans sorcerer duties is to provide this magical flower to these brave knights. Every time a brave knight contacts Gohan, he has to package up these special flowers into little bags and then meet the brave knights in secrete while avoiding the evil blue trolls that roam the enchanted jungle on 4-wheeled carriages capped with red and blue lights. Gohan has to come back to the special cottage for more flowers every time he meets a brave knight because if the evil blue trolls catch Gohan with a lot of the magical flowers then Gohan will be locked away into cold, dark dungeon for many lifetimes.

Tired from his travels, Ryan tries to go to sleep despite the constant coming and going of the overworked sorcerer every 20 minutes. Finally, he drifts away into slumber after counting the millions of jumping sheep from his now distant land of Zealandia.
Around 2:30 in the morning Ryan meets his second of roommates. He was a brave Irishmen from a distant land who has come to the enchanted jungle to slay the mighty dragon. This Irishmen left the love of his life who now resides in another enchanted jungle called Melbourne. After a very tough battle, the Irishmen managed to rescue a damsel in distress and managed to bring her back to the layer to keep her out of the way of the evil dragon until the night was over. This damsel was so frightened by the dragon that she was in a constant state of hiccupping. Luckily, Ryan brought a magical black box with him call an “I-pod”. With little buds that go into Ryan’s ears so he could tune out any hiccupping or other sounds that were coming from the badly distressed damsel.
Suddenly! Ryan was startled awake by a great earthquake that echoed through all the land. Being dark, Ryan wasn’t sure where to run. But to Ryan’s surprise, the great echoing earthquake was not coming from an active fault, but that of the brave Irishmen trying to resuscitate his damsel in distress. Apparently during the night this poor damsel went into shock from the seeing the evil dragon. The only way the brave Irish knight knew how to save here was to shake her violently by laying directly over her. Fortunately, the brave Irish knight was able to save his damsel and she thanked him in numerous loud bursts of screaming, an ancient art of thanking known only in her distant land.
Just when Ryan thought the mighty battles of the night was over, he began to try to go back to sleep around 5am. Around 5:30 the rest of the brave knights came back to the special cottage from a long, arduous battle. Many of them were still fighting the battle, as battle cries echoes though all the cottage. Many of the knights also celebrated their victories by screaming chants from their home land just outside the door where little, tired Ryan was trying to sleep. Around 6am all the brave knights finally laid their heads from sheer exhaustion of a long and victorious battle.

Ryan, still tired and not able to sleep, went to the magical beach where he was able to find solitude and quite for a few moments. Ryan thought hard about the evening’s events and decided that it was time to move on to another special cottage where the battles being fought were not so violent. Upon returning to the magical cottage, Ryan confronted an angry troll behind the desk. Ryan at first tried to use friendliness and smiles (a cultural custom used by all in Zealandia when asking for something) to get money back for the next night he had already paid for. This tactic didn’t work and Ryan became very annoyed with the angry troll and asked again politely for his funny looking papers painted with a great queen of another distant land. The angry troll still would not give it back to him. Tried, annoyed and very angry, Ryan packed all his belongings and stormed out the door and left feeling robbed.
Ryan ended up in another magical cottage where all the brave knights and damsels were at peace in the cottage and great battles were not being fought. Ryan finally got sleep. The end.

The moral of the story boys and girls, is to properly do research and ask around before booking magical cottages on the internet when you travel to distant lands. You never know where great battles will be fought.

Here are some pictures from the great, magical urban jungle of Sydney. Enjoy!
http://picasaweb.google.com/ryan.mceliece/LandOfSydney

1 comment:

Jacob said...

That happened to me in Amsterdam one time...but you must had been use to it, living with me...

Take care buddy, watch your back, front and sides...and above/ below. Australia doesn't sound like Kansas, and definitely not like NZ.